


Last Call

by Falconette



Category: Free!
Genre: F/M, darkish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 20:23:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4536054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falconette/pseuds/Falconette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A darkish piece from a POV of a local girl who idolizes Rin, her lover, but who is a lot sharper and perceptive than one would expect. Setting: beginning of Season 1 of anime</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Call

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a darkish piece from a POV of a local girl who idolizes Rin, her lover, but who is a lot sharper and perceptive than one would expect.
> 
> Setting: beginning of anime season 1 when Rin was acting like,… well a douche. 
> 
> This one is best read aloud.

LAST CALL

We meet in the usual place, just outside the train station where I immediately spot his red hair in the crowd. He is standing in the shade of a still barren tree, uninterested in basking in the early Spring sun that emerged between clouds, his weight shifted to one leg, one hand in pocked of his jeans. So aloof, so not-from-around. And there it is, the well known feeling of disbelief and exhilaration that _he_ was waiting on _me_ knotting my stomach.

I come up to him as he leans in for a quick, dry kiss and I am thankful for that because even this much raises eyebrows from the onlookers. Before, he would sling his arm around my waist openly, walking down the street, oblivious of social conventions and lines of the acceptable he was overstepping, forgetting this was Japan. And a small town, at that.

He hands me a three flower bouquet, a trinket really, and adds that it was the best one they had like an apology. I hear it in his voice, the distain for this tiny place and its tiny shops, tiny streetlights and narrow roads and I, a small town girl, only smile. He doesn’t look me in the eye when I smell the flowers and proclaim them wonderful, he is already on the move. I follow, next to him but without a physical contact and this time even Rin’s hand doesn’t unconsciously reach out for mine. I am both relieved and saddened because of that, as I follow his long strides to our destination. He doesn’t have a lot of free time and we don’t get to see each other much, so we make the best of what we got.

On the way he talks about his training and schedule, never about his plans. Tomorrow, next week, next year are subjects deftly avoided between us. Maybe because he has no plans. Maybe because I don’t feature in them. He appears tired and detached somehow, even more than usual, so I smile a lot, try to make him take part. His mood is somber but he is still here.

Entering the room in a love hotel, he exhales like he is finally able to breathe freely. There is nothing personalized in the room, nothing ours, but it is the best thing we got at least for an hour or two, so I put the bouquet on the night stand and take my coat off. Rin doesn’t say anything, but I can see it in his face. He once said, looking at the bed, that who knows how many couples had had sex on it. He said something like a love hotel was unimaginable in Australia, that it grosses him out, this rented mating stall. I never thought about it that way, I am lucky we have at least this. My parents would never allow him in my room and Samezuka dorms are for the students only.

He hangs his coat and takes his top off, casting a hesitant glance at me.

It is always like this, clumsy and awkward, the first touch, the first kiss after a long time. He comes closer and finds my mouth with his, but I can feel it is still fake, like kissing a stranger, even as his hands unbutton my shirt and slide it off my shoulders in a familiar manner. I put my arms around his neck, feeling the solid wall of muscle rippling beneath, taking in the heat of his skin. He is always so warm. So deceptively warm.

He immediately leads me to bed and I understand, he wants to do it twice today, this is how it usually is when we don’t see each other for long. And yes, he is wasting to time, his fingers are already pulling off my skirt and socks, letting me take care of his pants. I obey his silent wishes. It is too soon for me, I still don’t feel connected to him but I go through the motions, rediscovering the body I already know so well. His lust is plain to see, the carnal need that is blind and remorseless, uninterested in circumstances. This has nothing to do with him or me, here are just a male and a female body that are about to repeat the ancient dance of life.

Was it because he started swimming without emotions that his results plummeted? A thought flashed through my mind but of course I knew better then discuss it with him.      

Rin doesn’t bother with bed covers, he lies me on top of them, rests on his elbows on top of me and for the first time today really looks at my face. I am still smiling, or at least trying to, but he sees through my front, backs up a little. I note the battle in his eyes, the urge to take what he wants versus the urge to feel. My fingers gently push their way into his long hair, the caress almost painful to bear, judging by his expression.

“Is this ok for you?” he finally asks and feels even more like a stranger. I don’t want to waste his time, I don’t want to whine, but he is right, I also don’t want to just mate, I want to…

He is still trying to discern my reaction, but I feel his body shifting on top of me, like a wolf that smelled a fresh kill and is anxious to sink his teeth in.

“Can we go a little slower?”I say in a thin voice, unused to asking him to accommodate me. I am just a small town girl, after all, and he is a man of the world. Did he find Australian girls too demanding?

Instead of a reply, his hips move away and he turns to his side, pulling my body next to his, in an embrace. We kiss for a long time, so long, that is starts feeling like being with Rin again, basking in his smell and the texture of his skin and hair. His body heat feels real again, warming inside.

Would I sound needy if I said I missed him?

He would probably frown at that so I let my lips and my fingertips convey the message and he reacts, despite the go-getter in him that was probably even now counting down minutes of the rented time. Sometimes, I manage to thaw the rough shell and get to be with his other self, the one that has no public face, the one that could maybe even love a girl like me.

I can sense the change in his touches and caresses, he is letting himself feel me, there is less and less mindlessness about his kisses and love bites. We stop and rest facing each other in utter silence.His eyes are tired, but focused, as his head is lying on a pillow next to mine, so close I can feel his even breaths. He is watching me.

“Did you ever feel like it was already all over for you?” he mouths out of nowhere and I am left dumfounded, smiling confusedly as I was taught to do. I know he did not expect a reply, not from me whose life was already clearly drawn, whose predictable’ career ‘as a housewife and a mother was mere years away.

I push a strand of red hair off his face, thinking how to seamlessly change the subject, avoid uncharted waters. He regards me with a serious gaze and for a second I think of how it would be to marry him, have his children, live down the road and grow old together. And realize that my dream would indeed be an ‘all over’ story for him.

“Do you think your father had such thoughts after marrying your mother and having you?” I blurt out and instantly regret it, seeing the shock on his face. We didn’t talk much about our families, I only knew he had a mother and a sister he carefully avoided. He spoke of his father only once, a pillow talk in the dark where I couldn’t see his face but could sense the emotions of love, blame and anger all that better. The father he hated for leaving and adored because… because he needed something to cling onto.

He was chasing approval from a phantom, he was a doomed man. I shouldn’t be here with him, lying with him, letting him take me, letting him complicate me and make me feel inadequate. It had hit me; it was the other way round, _he_ needed _me_ , I was the only illusion of normality he had.

As expected, he turned on his back to avoid my gaze.

“I don’t want to talk about that.” he stated, resting his head on arms bent at elbows and closing the subject with the air of finality. The muscles of his shoulders and chest, bared and taut, have grown visibly from the last time we met. He must have been pushing himself hard. Mercilessly. I studied his elegant profile, half-hidden sharp teeth and focused, intelligent eyes that sometimes shone with manic determination and was reminded how much he scared me sometimes.

“I am sorry.” I automatically chimed to take the edge off the moment, flashing my most innocent smile. He didn’t like the me who was asking stupid questions and digging up things he was careful to sweep under rugs. It was not why we were here for. Instead, I gave him a childish peck on the cheek as an offer of peace. He regarded me with a sideways glance, seesawing between anger and lust and, a fraction of a second later, the latter prevailed.

He pulled me onto him, this time kissing me roughly, letting me feel the sharpness of his teeth. Was he punishing me? His hands were on my hips, hugging my shape, drawing pleasure from its feminine softness. I yielded, like I was expected to, closing my eyes and feeling the traces of heat his fingertips left across my back, thighs and belly, sensing the pressure between my hips rise. This time he won’t stop, I didn’t want him to.

Effortlessly, he rolled our bodies across the bedding and positioned himself above me, licking my neck with an occasional pinch of tips of his teeth. He was always careful not to leave marks, but this time I wondered if they would show anyway. His powerful arms have pinned mine to the bed, as he shifted his weight onto me. My hips raised and I found the tip of his protruding shaft, sliding it in like a sword into its scabbard. That was at least one place where we were matched perfectly. He was inside, pulsating and searing, holding his breath. His eyes caught mine for a moment, gauging if he was pushing things too far too soon but I smiled, this time for real, and he thrust his hips forward, entering all the way.

His arms curled around my body in a possessive gesture, affective and also unmistakably feral, but there was no trace of his usual self in his movements. When he would fuck, he would do it like swimming butterfly; one deep, one shallow thrust which would only accelerate close to the end. I wonder if he even noticed that his body was simply going through the learned motions as he was absentmindedly chasing his pleasure. When he would make love, he would adapt to my rhythm completely, listening to my body and following suit. It was after those sessions he would be in the mood for cuddling and talking about things beyond schedules and chores.

I let him twist and shift on top of me, following his irregular pace the best I could, returning his sloppy kisses and avoiding his teeth. By the deeper and deeper frown on his face it was clear that he was not enjoying this any more than I did.

He stopped, flustered and winded.

“Why did you have to say that?” his voice was jagged with frustration as he exhaled through his nose. The perspiration on his skin was turning to sweat beads and he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, irritated.

I didn’t feel like smiling. I didn’t feel like apologizing either. He was the one who opened difficult subjects, anyway. Rin lowered his head, hiding his face behind his falling hair, purposefulness drained from his body. Inside, I felt his erection waver.

“What is it?” I shifted underneath him, hoping to rekindle his interest.

He exhaled heavily. “I don’t think I was planned.” He raised his head, his worried eyes meeting mine but seeing not me, only a liability. “We have to be careful.”

“I took care of that.” I slid a palm across his back and down his spine, shifting my hips forward, but he didn’t play along. Of course he knew I was on the pill, I took them devotedly every morning even though our ‘dates’ were few and far in between. “I wouldn’t want a child while still in school.” I wanted to add that I was not stupid, but bit my tongue. He would probably not believe that, anyway.

Instead, I said in an even voice, “Do you want to wear a condom? They should have them here, in the top drawer.”

He took a moment to weigh the implications and slowly shook his head. “I just don’t want to make a stupid mistake. I can’t.”

I suddenly felt deeply and thoroughly sorry for him, for the way he was tethered by his perfectionism, terrorized by his goal, unable to cherish anything along the way. How could have I hoped to find a place amid his priorities? I thought about the small bouquet on the night stand and it made my heart cringe more than anything else.

It meant he could. He could, if he wanted to.

Somewhere deep inside, I felt a decision form and strengthen inside me.

“And you won’t.” I whispered ambiguously, caressed his cheek and straightened the lines between his eyebrows, granting him the most gentle and sweet kiss we shared between us. He responded, soothed, ensnared, keeping his teeth away from my skin and relishing its smoothness instead, rekindling his passion.

We made love, slowly and sensually, outside our heads and with our hearts and bodies, like it was the last time.

He had no idea.

Sometimes, you have to push someone to the bottom for them to start climbing back up. That went for the both of us.

Sometimes, you were left with nothing to give anymore.

As we said our goodbyes at the station, Rin even smiled, looking genuinely happy at least for that short moment. That is how I’d like to keep him in my memory.

On the train, I blocked his number. I will not answer his calls ever again.

 


End file.
